Published Writing

I had an unsafe, unpredictable journey ahead of me, with the train waiting like the demon inside of me, and with a roar like lightning. I had to flee for my wife’s and daughter’s sake. Seconds were like minutes, minutes were like hours, and hours were like days. Lovingly, I held my daughter’s hands. We turned left. The closer we got to the train, the slower time became. ‘Was this a dream? Or was it a nightmare? A nightmare that never ended?’ I thought. Gut-spinning, anxious, heart-broken- will I survive this terrible fate?

My heart was as cold as the happiness sucking dementors. My Wife’s were like clouds. Rainy clouds or thundering clouds during a storm. Tears rand down my crooked nose, splashing to the floor. We climbed the stairs with guilt. The train was there, staring straight at me.

I stepped up onto the eerie, deserted platform. There were a couple of emotionless families that were staring at the strange, murky train. As a foul stench spread amongst the blank faces, the faces didn’t even flinch at the foul smell, which was extremely odd. Some passengers were little children with various hair colours; others were tall, skinny, blank emotionless adults.My brain and my heart were having a dual on whether I should feel guilty or not. There was black smoke erupting from the bell of the train.

I stopped staring at the old, rustic train and turned to my beloved daughter and wife, and said “I’m going to be gone for a couple of days. And I’ll miss you.” All my emotions bubbled with sadness and anger. Tears made a forcefield around my wife’s eyes, her hands were shaking, her lip was trembling,

“I…I’ll miss y…you St…Steve,” babbled my wife as she threw herself into my arms. I squeezed tight,

“It might be the last time,”I whispered into my wife’s ear.

“Bye Daddy, I’m gunna miss, YOU! she bellowed.

“FIVE MORE MINUTES LEFT UNTIL THE TRAIN DEPARTS!” announced a speaker somewhere in the station.

“Okay, I’ve got to go now,” I sobbed, walking to the train with my suit drenched. Will I ever see them again?

Why do I have to go just why? Why me? What will hren. To my famali? I don’t want to go no no! Just why you will go you will! Stop that! Plis. This has to bee a jrim. I don’t want to just live me alon.

“Plase come back!” Her voice is trembling with sadness. “What is happening to Daddy?” chied my litue girl!” way is heleauag us?” As I kneel to hug her tighty she whaps her amms thghy around my neck.

On my wey to the chren steshan just fora minutej had tears in my ays. Will my fameli feget me? It was tam to sey bye! I rusht to go on the chren immedialy I didant want to miss it!.

Dread,worry,anxiety,I walked down the ominously silent streets of town. Did I make a mistake? Have I gone mad?Did I have a choice?Annoyingly,8 heard the rhythm of my shoes tapping ; tap, tap, tap; I heard the sniffles and sobs of my loving wife, but most if all, I heard a strange noise .A noise that made me shiver. Frightening, regretful, doubtful- are they going to be safe without me? Terrified,I carried on , tightening the grip of my hand in wife’s. Looking down at my daughter , who was looking down at the floor, I felt depression cover me like a blanket.

As we ‘er almost there, I think : who am I going to meet there? Am I going to be okay without my family ? Will I ever come back? Aggressively, my wife holds my hand like she will never let go. Hopeless, upset , scared – will I ever see them again? Still walking , we hear a bike’s bell , we looked to the right and we saw a boy with swollen eyes like he hadn’t slept. My body began to shake uncontrollably. As we turned to our last street , I began to weaken. Weaken because I had no idea what I had ahead, an unexpected journey for me. As we came to our last minuets all I could think of, all the voice inside of me was saying ”you have a dangerous journey ahead”.

As we arrived at the train station, we approached the train. I saw ;wives crying and waving goodbye blowing onto their rags ; others walking away, slumping their feet on the ground ; and smokey, spooky fog rising from the dusty surface . step by step , I got closer to the train,I heard the noise once more. That the strange , spooky noise that made me shiver. The blank faces of people walking by Terrified, I imagined my wife and daughter walking.Walking like they’ve lost everything. Paralysed , I didn’t move from were I was standing. I saw trains come and go. Blindingly, I walked through the misty fog. I felt as though all of my world had crumbled into rubble.

Heart-broken, I looked sorrowfully into my wife’s eyes . I tried to comfort her, she looked even more depressed.
”I’ll return. I promise”I whispered, stroking her arm.
” I’ll always love you.” she babbled, sobbing.
“last boarding call for the train to Berlin!” bellowed the conductor. I kneeled down onto the sandy , grimey floor .
“I’ll write every day, hopefully you’ll get them soon.” I muttered. She didn’t listen , she just dug her wet , tearful face into my shoulder. I hugged my daughter one last time and stood up carefully , I looked up at my wife and nodded .I step onto the train.
” Bye bye, daddy.” she added. I turned , grinned and waved . I once again turned walked slowly onto the train. As the train set off , I questioned myself: did I make a huge mistake? I’m now a solitary figure.

Hollie
I had an unpredictable journey ahead…
I couldn’t believe what I was doing to my caring, beautiful family. Why did i sign up to this? Heartbroken, devastated, regretful- would my family ever forget me? As I walked down the dark street, I felt tears drip down my face like fine rain. Why am I hurting my family? Worried, home-sick, anxious- why have I stepped out of my home? Would I ever return home? Why had I done this? I had butterflies lingering in my stomach. They wouldn’t go away! Shacking, depressed, alone I feel like my hope is drifting away. I kept having flashbacks of all those happy and sad memories. Depressed, why do i have to leave my family? Why had i done this? Would I ever survive without my family? Would I meet anyone familiar? My heart is racing like a train at rush hour. What would my next step be? My hands were shacking and I didn’t know what to do. Why did I leave my family?

When I reached the train station, I could see: heartbroken families not wanting to let go of their caring family members, crying children and babies not knowing what was going on; families locked themselves to their beloved ones not moving a single bone in in their bodies. The dark, gloomy clouds filled the air with depression. I couldn’t believe it was nearly time to leave. The dark clouds loomed over grieving families.

Finally I arrived at the old depressing transition. I can’t believe its nearly time to board the train. I have made a huge mistake. Why have I done this? “I hope you have a good and safe trip daddy.” wondered Millie my beautiful daughter.
“Why have you done this to me and my daughter? Why are you doing this?!” Complained Vanessa.
I knelt on the floor and hugged my daughters hand tight like a monkey on a tree. I never wanted to let go.

“Last call to board the train! Last call!” The speaker announced. As I walked to the train my beautiful wife shouted “Please come back!” Her voice trembled with sadness. My heart was broken and tears fell down my face like a waterfall. I looked back to create a picture in my head so I wouldn’t forget them. I have made a terrible mistake. Why have I done this? This is the biggest mistake of my life. As I waved goodbye, the train pulled further and further away. I felt like a terrible husband and a terrible father. Life will be completely different without them.

I fell determinded. A fearless demon over my head. Seeing a smoke from the monster. The train came and horned. Terriefing dark clouds from the sky. Everyone with their suitcases. We were holding our hands. The train stopped and horned. The train stop and maked a thick black smoke the station. All the people were looking heart broken and sit. wifes were leaving and husbands. They were sitting on their suitcases and a rusty looking place. I fell determinded. A fearless demon over my head. Seeing a smoke from the monster. The train came and horned. Terriefing dark clouds from the sky. Everyone with their suitcases. We were holding our hands. The train stopped and horned. The train stop and maked a thick black smoke the station. All the people were looking heart broken and sit. wifes were leaving and husbands. They were sitting on their suitcases and a rusty looking place.
“Dad please dont leave us alone” girl said. “We are gonna miss you” wife said. “Im going on the train now” whisperd dad. wife cried to much. I was grabbing my dauhgter hand tightly. “Dad promise u will be back” girl said.

The Arrival

I had a dark journey ahead of me. As I walked, my anxiety was tearing me apart, bit by bit. I didn’t know how I would live without them. Gliding I walked across the path, away from my home. Why am I doing this? My fear was building up inside of me. They were persuading me not to go. Was this a good decision? What would happen when I went would they be OK? My heart was beating as fast as a speeding train. Worried, anxious, terrified-would they cry? Immediately, I realised how much I would miss them. I was shaking, my blazer was wet with sweat. Heart-broken, I didn’t want to leave them. As my feet slid nearer and nearer, I began to hear the horn.

Finally, we arrived. My whole body shivered as the train came towards us. I saw: families clutching on to each other; thick, black smoke taking over the sky; wives were crying into their handkerchiefs. Amongst the suffocating smoke, I witnessed families refusing to let go.

I turned to my family I felt depressed.
“Promise me you’ll come back for us?” asked my wife, sobbing into her handkerchief.
“I’ll come back for you.” I agreed
“Do you have to go?” my little girl babbled as she hugged me.I felt her tears on my coat.
“I have to go, I’m sorry.” I murmured I reassured them. That was the last call, I’d better get going. I sobbed as I looked at the train. ‘ I can’t look back.’ I thought to myself. I’m at the train- do I want to do this? As I lifted my leg up, I felt a shock as waves of fear started coming, but I had to do this. I’m on the train now, there’s no turning back now.

When I walk out the house I regretted this instantly this journey is going to be menacing. What would my wife and daughter do without me? Would they be ok? Would I be ok without them? Although my wife and daughter are tough,I think they are too apprehensive to let me go. I am determined to do this but we are all so attached-we can’t leave each other.

Anxious,I think this is an extremely bad idea, they certainly won’t last without me. Heart-broken, sorrowful, grim- should i do this? As we approach the train station. My wife started to cry silently. When we arrived at the train station, she finally stopped crying, my eyes widened and a shiver ran down my spine. I saw:some gloomy, black clouds hovering above me as joyful people got off the train; others were crying because their loved ones have to leave them.

“I’m sorry, I have to do this, I will miss you.”I explained. They both started to moan. I didn’t want to leave them but I had to. I was so envious of the people getting off the train, I wished it was me. “Please don’t go we will miss you.”sniffled my wife.” Daddy please don’t leave-remember everything we did together.”cried my daughter. She didn’t want me to leave, she wanted me to remember everything we did so that I would change my mind and stay with them, but I had to do this. I just had to.

Thinking about my wife and my daughter, see both staring at the train with their little eyes, staring at them a stranger took my hand, “Leaving you’r family I am right ?”He said “Yah, do you leave them to ?” I told him, we became friends ,his name was Fred , a pretty name right.?He allways agreed ,his jokes was the best, he told me that he never got married again his wife leaved him, we talked the whole day ,we both make a new friend his name was James but we called him Jems ”WE HAVE TO GO OUT SIDE!!” He screamed ”Why?” We asked but all of these was a dream we all slept it’s was just two persons awake Jems and Fred, and me of course.

The Arrival
The journey ahead of me is unpredictable… Shaking, I was covered in cold sweat. I didn’t know if I wanted to do this. With every step I took I felt more guilty. Guilty about leaving my family by themselves. Are they going to be safe? Would I ever see them again? Were they going to forget me? I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t do this. Determined, regretful, horrified- was this the right choice? I carried on walking down the street to my doom.

Terrified and frightened, I looked down at the ground whilst I walked, already feeling doubt, I felt a sense of danger. When I step onto the train, what would happen? Would I meet new people?Would I enjoy my journey there? Definitely not. Anxiety covered me like a giant blanket. My heart began beating faster and I became more nervous. I was now getting closer to the train station.

As we arrived at the crowded, dismal train station, a frown slowly appeared on my wife’s face. Looking around me, I spotted: families waving goodbye to each other, refusing to let go; children crying in sorrow; wives dabbing away their tears with their handkerchiefs, trying to hide their emotions from their children; and people slouching miserably. The sound of weeping made my spine shiver, thinking of how in a few minutes, I will have to say goodbye to my beloved family.

Before getting on the train, I stared into my wife’s big, sparkling eyes and tears started filling my own. I turned around to look at my daughter.

“Why are you leaving us?” She questioned as she hugged me tightly.

I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her back. “I have to, but I’ll come back.” I muttered reassuring her. “I promise.” Then I looked back at my wife.

“We’ll miss you.” She sobbed as a tear rolled down her cheek.

I placed my hand on her arm, comforting her. “I’ll miss you too.” I sighed, I stepped back from them and I placed my foot on the train. Heart-broken, I couldn’t bear to look back but I did- I saw the pain and anguish on their faces, and in that moment, I felt instant regret…

The Arrival
My future relied on this journey, my blood ran cold when I packed my suitcase. My mind flooded with fear whilst my soul was being sucked by anxiety. Emotionless, questions filled my mind. Was my worst nightmare coming true? Would I get to see my daughter grow up? When I walked out the door, the monster loomed over me, filling my mind with questions : was this a good choice? Would I get to see my family again? Desperate, I wanted to stay but I knew I could not. I felt the pain my family was experiencing, how could I leave them.

When my house was out of view I knew it was time, time to leave. The train station came into view ; my wife sobbed whilst my daughter clung onto me. A tear rolled down my daughter’s cheek. Inside, I was crying but on the outside emotionless. I knew I had to be brave for my family. Why was my wife making it harder than it already was? Crowded, the train station was a river of sadness; I was one of them.

Piles of belongings covered the foul , filthy floor. Children and babies screamed: screamed so their families won’t leave. I thought my daughter would be like that soon. I hugged her and told her I loved her ; my wife gave me a hug as I kissed her on the forehead. I wished I didn’t have to leave. Life was hard enough already. I stepped on the train; my darling wife grabbed my hand but I had to let go…

The cries of my wife and daughter replayed like a looped video. Out of nowhere a stanger interrupted my thoughts ” Is this seat spare my friend?”
“Yes it is sir.” As I move I thought I saw my beloved wife; was my mind playing tricks on me? The man who I was sat next to was grimy and unhygienic, his clothes were grimy and filthy. Had they ever been washed? When the train started moving , I had many thoughts; would I ever return. Would my wife and daughter be engulfed by my monster? I wish I never had to leave . Why couldn’t the monster leave instead? The train was crowded, cramped and uncomfortable; why did I have to do this?

The Arrival

Dejected , pressured , mortified – The over-powering, dark thoughts drained over my emotions. I feared the perilous journey heading my destination… It was there, lingering above me , promising to stay there until it drained my dismal soul into hell. I was left with no choice … Letters were posted everyday forcing me to leave my precious family behind, until I would agree to follow the treacherous orders. I glanced past my beloved wife, hesitating. I stared in her lovely, glistening eyes. She could not understand how hard it was for me : all I could do was isolate my emotions.

As the piercing pain lingered above my mind the dismal clouds hovered above me, pouring agonising tears down upon me. My blood ran cold ; I knew it was time… I started packing my belongings: an origami bird, a picture of my family, and a drawing from my daughter. I took one last glance at my house- I knew I wouldn’t be back anytime soon. We finally left and walked through the deserted towns streets, longing to stay. An exhausting, fatal monster stared down at me , but this time, he was hovering above me closer than ever. My mind ran wild. I could feel its haunting chill slither down my neck . I heard its evil laugh, shrunken by his threatening actions… Panic – striken, overwhelmed , apprehensive- The time had come.

As we entered through the murky , thick mist we were there. How wre we there already? My mind froze in fear , unable to comprehend what I saw… The sight was desolate and indescribable: wives crying silent tears; children clutching in desperation, babies screaming, unfamiliar of their surrounding and , the glum petrifying clouds loomed above us. I suddenly locked my feet to the ground , hesitating to move forward. My heart started racing in desperation. I wanted to stay behind with my loving family. Amongst the heart breaking cries , everyone heard a deafening bell ring, informing us to say our goodbyes and head on the train. I could see my daughter’s begging eyes and my wives tearful cries . Immediately, I gave them a hug whilst whispering positive , momentous words telling them that I would never forget them . I took one last gaze of my precious girls and then departed as tears rolled down my cheeks rapidly not knowing when I would see them again. Suddenly ,I was pushed away from them feeling mortified in terror. Just at that moment , a thought flooded in my mind ; were my family safe here, or were they in danger?

Apprehensive and worried sick , I was seated in the most crowded carriage, wondering how much longer I could keep it up. The menacing monster had consumed my loving memories; trying to overpower my feelings. My heart shattered into a million pieces unable to retrieve them back. The nightmare taunted me endlessly, every second of my life, it just wouldn’t leave me alone…
“Are you listening!” A dominating voice drilled into my thoughts.
“S…sorry , sir.” Unable to comprehend, I kept silent unsure of who it was.
“TICKET PLEASE!” Bellowed the condunctor. Paralysed , I struggled as I passed him my ticket.

All of a sudden , the memories flooded back. The love of my life flooded back..

I had a peculiar expedition ahead. Puzzled, I headed to the door, thinking about where I was going. Whenever I walked out onto the street there would always be a dark monster in the shadows … Waiting to dig out my soul. Slowly, I tried to escape the monster, but whenever I did, it would always threaten me. Would I ever escape this demon? There were tears running down my cheeks like a waterfall thinking ‘this might be the last time I see them again’.

Horribly, I walked out of the door, leaving my home frozen in fear. Walking down the streets, I started thinking was this my opportunity to escape the beast? Thoughts flooded my brain about how sad I would be when I left my family behind. Sobbing, as I wondered if it was going to be the last time I would see them again.

Once I arrived at the train station the first thing I saw was the thick, misty, gloomy smoke. There were hundreds of families clinging onto the person who was about to leave trying to make them stay. The train looked abandoned , run-down and rotten. There were babies – clueless about what was happening. The clouds started to cry and so did all the wives who cried silent tears trying not to show their emotions to their children. I was thinking in my head; why was I about to leave? I felt mortified:I might never see them again. Tears rolled down my face as I hugged my wife and daughter one last time and jumped on the train even though I didn’t want to.

I was frozen in fear, thinking about my wife and daughter’s laugh. I heard a voice “Hello… did you hear me… I said TICKETS NOW!!! ” It was the ticket lady waiting for me to give my ticket. I stopped daydreaming and replied “S…. sorry,” she was very rude (giving me a dirty look) and had no idea what I was going through or how many demons were floating around my brain. I already felt depressed and miserable, imagining me and my family being reunited. I looked out of the steamy, scruffy windows and saw my family waving me goodbye. I wondered if I would ever be able to see them again.

I couldn’t live without my wife but I had to leave her and my child . I packed my suitcase ,but this monster followed me and tortured me! My anxiety covered me like a blanket, would it ever stop torturing me?

It followed me down the street , causing my anxiety to go sky high. I was tired of ignoring it ,i was tired of making my family run . How had it come to this ? My hart raced of guilt flooded through my veins. Would the demons leave them when i left?

Would this monster ever stop following me? Would this be the last time I had to leave my wife? The station was full of smoke… people sobbed as they said goodbye to their loved one. Tearfully, I said goodbye to my wife and daughter and did not look back.

Waving at my daughter and wife, I cried as I sat down and I looked outside the window. I fell a sleep and then i heard a voice.
“Hello, can i sit here?”
“Yes you can !” I said .
I was day dreaming about the vicious monster would this always de in my mind?

The Arrival
~~~~~~~~~

Down-hearted, desolate, depressed – how did it even begin? As I walked on the perilous streets, (with my beloved, precious wife and my sweetest sunshine) I saw them again. My blood ran cold and I was frozen in fear when I saw how enormous my demons had gotten. Rapidly, they lingered through the lapis sky snd drowned me in terror. My worst nightmare: cold-blooded, terrifying beasts. They came back for me to remind me of my sins, and persuade me to pay my debt by terrorising me. Right there and then, I really wished that I could go back to the joyful, exciting past when everything was better and nothing bad had ever happened yet. These streets were one: cheerful; loud; full of ecstasy…once. Sadly, no one went outside anymore, not for long anyway, not like they used to, however I shall sacrifice myself so that these streets and the whole town would be safe again.

We were nearly at the train station. My hands were shaking and I would have done absolutely anything to stay behind with my family. Crying, my daughter knew that it wasn’t fair. She kicked the little rocks as her face went red. Memories of love and warmth faded away. All I could think of was: are they ever going to forgive me for my careless, unintelligent decision? If I ever retrace my steps, will they still be here, waiting for me? Was I being too cold-hearted? As we reached the train station and saw my wife’s desperate gaze I realised that this would be harder that I thought.

Dark shadows were looming over the crowded, forlorn train station. It was such a depressing sight, so depressing that even the murky clouds started to cry cold tears and the little infants began to screech in bewilderment as the new surroundings were unfamiliar and deafening. Goodbyes snd cries could be heard in every corner of the gloomy station. I looked at my watch. It was time to say my own goodbye. Hugging my wife and daughter, I shed a tear; that was when I gave my sweetest sunshine the alluring origami bird and stepped inside the train, knowing that I would never see her again.

I had just occupied a seat and nightmares began to lurk through my mind. A horrid feeling overwhelmed me. Foolish, I was very foolish to accept this so called mission. Darkness filled my thought and it made me shiver. Nonetheless, I knew it would be a treacherous journey, however as the compact train left the station, I realised that it was more than that. Will I escap-

A loud voice interrupted my daydream: “Ticket pleas’! And make it quick, I don’t hav’ all day,” bellowed the conductor in a voice that was a thunder.

“O-one second” I mumbled and searched for my ticket.

Puzzled, I gave her my ticket (while she was giving me a dirty look) and closed my eyes as merry memories came back to me. I remembered my wife’s golden hair. Golden (and silky) like a sparkly cascade and my daughter – my sweetest sunshine- with her infectious laugh.

Would I ever be that happy ever again?